Give a man a push?
July 17th, 2007
Yet another funny from my cousin Ang - this one had me cracking up for ages…
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
“Not a chance," says the husband. "It is 3 o’clock in the morning." He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked the wife.
"Just some drunken guy asking for a push.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not. It is 3 o’clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!"
His wife said, "Can’t you remember about three months ago
when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, Are you still there?"
"Yes", comes the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk."
That’s hilarious! I love it!
ROFLMAO!!!
husband Of The Year-joke
> A husband and wife came for counselling after 15 years of marriage.
> > When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,
> > painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15
> > years they had been married.
> > She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
> > loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list
> > of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
> > Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of
> > time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking
> > the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately. The woman
> > shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
> >
> > The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your
> > wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”
> > The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her
> > off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.”